The Blondes are back (No Offence Intended)
1 year 11 months ago #6955
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed
Listening to the next door neighbour’s dog.
It has been in their backyard barking for hours and hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says,
"I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs.
The blonde finally comes back up to bed
And her husband says,
"The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"
"I put the dog in OUR backyard,
let's see how THEY like it!”
Two Blondes With Hammers...
Lynn and Judy were doing some carpentry work on a
‘Habitat for Humanity’ house.
Lynn who was nailing down the house siding,
would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either
toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked,
“Why are you throwing those nails away?”
Lynn explained, “When I pull a nail out of my pouch,
about half of them have the head on the wrong end
and I throw them away.”
Judy got completely upset and yelled,
“You moron! Those nails aren't defective!
they're for the other side of the house!”
Did you hear about the two blondes
Who froze to death at a drive-in movie theatre?
They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
Hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
decided to have some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the
tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started
blowing into her tailpipe..
So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, “What are you doing?”
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, “Uh, hellooo!
you need to like roll up the windows first.'
A blonde was shopping at ‘Target’ and came across a shiny silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took
it to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....
it keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.'
“Wow, said the blonde, “That's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!”
So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk.
“What's that,” he asked?
“Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things
Cold” she replied..
Her boss inquired, “What do you have in it?”
The blond replied......
“Two popsicles and some coffee.”
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically, “What's the matter?”
The blonde replies,
“Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
my mother had passed away.”
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says,
“Why don't you go home for the day?
Take the day off to relax and rest.”
“Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind
off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.”
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual.
A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde.
He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically...
“What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?” he asks.
“No!' exclaims the blonde. “I just received a horrible call from my
sister. Her mother died, too!”